Life has Changed

Life has changed in Galveston over the past 3 years that we have been here.  I was looking at this webpage and see that we need to update some of pages on this blog.

In February of 2009 we loaded our van to the top and drove to Texas with the thought in our minds that we would be missionaries in disaster recovery after Hurricane Ike.  We worked with the United Methodist Committee on Relief to help families rebuild and restore their homes.  We worked as case managers to advocate for people.  We worked as team leaders and project managers and volunteer coordinators to rebuild homes.  We made friendships with people that we still hold close to our heart today.  Looking back, we can see how God used us to affect change in people’s lives on this island.  In the last six months, Galveston has started to see the allotted federal money come down through the system.  I know that many people that we worked with had been counting on the government funding to fix their houses.  However, they have been living in their house for a year and a half now because of the work of volunteers and UMCOR.

In the spring of 2009, I was asked to do pulpit supply for Primera Iglesia de Galveston.  It was a small church that had 5-8 feet of water in the storm and went thorough a church split following the storm.  There were basically 8-12 elderly women at the church that wanted to restore the church to what it once was.  Week after week they would invite me back to preach each Sunday.  After awhile, I told them that if they wanted stable leadership at the church, I would work as their interim minister.  When they hired me, the church was still in shambles from the storm.  They had new pews that were donated – but you had to move them around yourself in order to get the legroom you needed.  The fellowship hall was still without walls and in need of much work.  Through our UMCOR connections and resources, we were able to invite volunteer teams into the church to completely restore it.  Since then, we have been working with the church to establish a leadership structure, heal wounds from the past, and direct their focus forward toward the work that God has for them.  Our ministry at the church is going to end on June 3.  The church has a search committee together to look for a permanent, bilingual pastor.

In the midst of all of that we also went through our cancer journey and the birth of our first child.

Now we are looking into the future as missionaries in Galveston.  I have been volunteering some of my time as the President of the Board of Directors of Galveston Urban Ministries.  It is a ministry focused towards the marginalized and over-looked people of Galveston.  Our desire is to empower them to live the life that God intends for them and created them to live.  This coming week we are starting job-readiness classes – coming alongside of individuals and helping to prepare themselves to obtain and hold onto a job that can sustain their living.  We will be working on writing resumes, helping to fill out applications, talking through obstacles and things that keep them from working, and also advocating for our friends in our community.  We also have weekly children’s programs running and also are hoping to do an after-school program in the fall.  Our other hope for this year is to work with local lawyers to provide free legal counseling for members of our community.  There are good people in our community.  Sometimes they just need a little help reconciling events of the past to help them move into the future.  I think there is a lot of possibility for beauty to happen in this ministry – for Jesus does make all things beautiful.  On top of GUM stuff, I am going to have some free time to be available for some more missionary work.  We don’t know what that looks like right at this minute.  But I am trying to be as available as possible – while taking care of Emma and being involved with whatever other shenanigans we are involved with here in the city.

surgery and recovery reflections

Wrote this post Wed/Thurs of surgery week- I am doing much better now!  I have two small incisions around my navel.  The area is still hard as the tissue is healing but I hardly ever have pain, unless I over do it!

 

Monday August 15th, I had surgery for an umbilical hernia that showed up during my pregnancy.  It was an odd experience for me.  I hate going under general anesthesia.  It is a scary experience because I am not sure if I will ever wake up.  You hear scary stories about people dying from it.  Scary stuff.  Then having open abdominal surgery is scary too; the medical side of me knows about opportunities for infection, etc.  More scary stuff, but tempered with the remembrance of Tim’s brain surgery last year, I suppose it is minor in comparison.  Minor, yes, but still scary to me.

I am doing ok- recovering pretty quickly, I guess.  At this point, my belly button looks like a black eye- all cut up, swollen, and quite bruised.  It is sore and itchy.  Some meds during the procedure gave me a bad headache for a few days.  I didn’t want to take pain meds because I am still nursing and some meds pass into the milk.  But then the headache was so bad on Tuesday that I called the La Leche League and my OBs office for information.  Both looked up the meds in their respective books and told me they were fine.  So thankfully I was able to take some meds and the headache went away.  But mostly I have been getting by with ice instead of meds.  I stopped taking them yesterday because some sort of rash is breaking out on my stomach.  Don’t know if I’m allergic to the adhesive glue on the incision or the meds.  🙂  It’s always something!

Going in for surgery in general was very hard for me and raised a lot of issues.  I had to give up control.  I am used to being the strong one and had no desire to be the sick one.  I was reminded of what it is to be vulnerable and to have to trust others to take care of things.  I am not good at trusting.  I am much better at taking care of things myself.  This week I had to direct others to take care of the things I normally do.  I discovered sides of me I am not too comfortable with.  My bossy side really comes out.  My neediness really shows up when I can’t do things for myself.  However, I do like to be taken care of.  Yet, I appear so strong that sometimes it looks like I don’t need to be.

I am reading a book called Ruthless Trust.  I have read it before and probably should read it once a month.  It is a book that calls us to trust God, not just in theory, but learn to actually trust and follow God on a daily basis.  That means daily trusting and knowing that I am loved by God.  It means recognizing that the promises of God are true and living in such a way that I know that they are.  The way I am wired does not lend itself to trust.  I am strong.  Why do I need to trust anyone else to take care of me?  I laugh at myself as I write that, because I know the other side to my strength is complete and utter weakness.  It is a neediness, an emptiness, vulnerability, a deep desire to depend on someone.  It is in that weakness that I know how desperately I need my God to hold on to.  It is in this weakness that God meets me where I’m at.  He still has a lot of healing to do and I have a lot to gradually sacrifice my burdens and fears to his love.  It is hard to let go of my hurt, my pain, and my suffering.  But it is in this pain that God meets us and transforms us.  He takes me to the place where my strength fails.  He teaches me my limits.  Usually it is only in my brokenness that I remember how desperately I need God.   I desperately need God to come in to my weakness.  I need him to take away my pain and reform me.  I want to be wholly his and wholly trusting.

On another note, I will be out of work for 4-6 weeks until I am recovered.  It will be a good time to travel.  Tim, Emma, and I will spend some time vacationing, reflecting, and healing.  This crazy season of our lives has to be near an end (please God!).  I am just praying that the healing comes faster.  We will be in PA August 24th through Labor Day (various locations) and then spend a few days near Ocean City, NJ before driving back to Texas.  Hopefully, we can see you while we are in town!  Blessings!

catching up

So- we haven’t written on the blog in a few days.  Go figure!  We have had an incredibly crazy but blessed week! 

On Thursday Tim sent out the following message by email-

“Hey Friends and Galveston Friends –

 

I want to ask for your prayers and give you an update on me –

On Tuesday, I was driving our truck, hauling flooring to one of the houses that we are working on.  Suddenly the right side of my face and right leg went numb.  As I was trying to explain what was going on to Jenn, I started slurring my speech.  I also felt nauseous and had a weird smell in my nose.  About 10 minutes later I felt fine again and haven’t felt anything since.

So, Jenn took me to the ER.  They ran some tests – catscan and MRI.  About 9:00 Tuesday night the nuerology doctor came into my room.  After reviewing my case, he thought I had a seizure and showed us the results of the MRI.  There is a lesion/tumor on the left side of my brain that is 1×2 inches.  It is close to the area that controls speech and motor function. The doctor wasn’t sure if the tumor was cancerous or not – that will only be determined when they can remove it and biopsy it.  His feeling is that it could be a low grade tumor but he was significantly concerned about it.  He was also concerned about removing parts of the tumor, because it was so close to vital areas.  On his way out of the room, he told me that there is a long road ahead of me. 

 

I spent the day in the hospital yesterday, waiting to hear from the nuerosurgeon.  However, he was in surgery and never came by.  He did get to see my file, though.  So, in a sense, I am relieved a bit.  He did not feel it urgent enough to admit me and do surgery right away.

 

They have schedule an appointment for me with a general practicioner on March 9, and with the nuerosurgeon March 10.  I am currently taking anti-seizure medication and aspirin.  In the meantime I will be seeking out 2nd opinions and learning whatever I can about brain tumors.   My thought is that I will have surgery within the next month – 6 weeks. 

 

I am feeling fine right at the moment – I feel no different than I did on Monday.  I slept until 10:00 today after all of the stress of being in the hospital the last two days.  But in one sense I am scared out of my mind – Jenn is pregnant and I don’t want to leave her as a single mother.  I have so many hopes and dreams about raising my child and a family. 

 

On the other hand, I have faith.  I know the power of God and have seen the power of God.  And that is where I am asking you to pray for me.  If a couple of hundred people pray – would God shrink this tumor enough to be able to fully remove it with surgery, that I would never again have to worry about it?  If enough of us pray, would God heal me in time to run a 5K that I just saw on the American Brain Tumor Assoc. website in Chicago on May 22nd?

 

So – thanks for your prayers and thoughts – there are so many things going through our minds right now – fears and unknown.   I am putting my hope and trust in Jesus and looking forward to celebrating the time that I am free of this.  I will keep updates on our website and also on our prayer list.”

 

We have been dealing with a lot lately. A lot of you wonderful people have already been praying for us. For that we give thanks to God! The support you have provided has meant so much to us. And we have seen God provide for us every step of the way- as usual. God is good! Even in the tough times, I am so thankful we have a God who loves us and understands us enough to walk with us.

We have started a new blog to keep updates specifically on Tim’s progress and story. You can check it out at http://meandmybraintumor.wordpress.com. We think God is doing something bigger than us. May he be glorified even in our suffering and healing, and may he shape a powerful testimony for us to keep telling the story of how awesome God is.  We also believe God has called us to continue ministering here in Galveston, so we will keep sharing stories of God’s work through us here on this blog.

Many blessings to you!  And now to catch up on the week….

One-Year Anniversary

Tuesday marked the one year anniversary of the day that Jenn and I pulled out of my mom’s driveway and started driving to Texas.  It certainly seems like we have been down here for much longer.  I have been taking some time this week to think of all of the people that we have encountered throughout the year – volunteers, homeowners, disaster recovery people, Galvestonians, tourists, homeless, etc.  It has been quite a year!  I feel like God has worked through us in many ways, but more than that God has done his work in us in beautiful ways as well.  I will try and share some more thoughts about this in the next couple of days if I can.

Groundhog meatloaf

On the first day of our trip to Texas, we drove from Philadelphia to Harrisonburg, VA where we stayed with Scott and Shaena – friends of mine from college  (the last 60 miles of the trip was through a snowstorm).   They have a yearly ritual of celebrating Groundhog’s Day by shaping their meatloaf into the form of a groundhog.  So, we decided that we would start a Galveston branch of the tradition and ate groundhog meatloaf ourselves.   We invited Pastor Billy and Dawn over for dinner and shared in Jenn’s finely shaped groundhog meatloaf.  This groundhog, unfortunately for it, didn’t not live long enough to see its shadow.

happy new year!

Mary, Joseph and snow covered baby Jesus

Huge icicles in PA

 

Happy 2010!  Hope you all have a wonderful and blessed new year! 

We arrived back to Texas on Monday afternoon.  It is quite a bit warmer here than in PA!  There was 24 inches of snow in Philadelphia when we arrived, all of which had melted by Saturday in the Christmas rain.  Actually the temps are pretty low for Houston/Galveston area- in the 40s and 50s during the day.  We spent most of Monday catching up and getting groceries and other boring things.  The rest of the week has been pretty busy though!  We have had an awesome group of volunteers from a Baptist Church in Austin.  They have done a ton of work at Primera.  I will post somem pictures soon.  One day I also had a Methodist team of youth run by the head of UMCOR.  Nice to meet him too.  Overall it’s been a good week, and we had a great Christmas vacation visiting family and friends too!  Didn’t take enough pictures of the trip since the camera’s been on the fritz.

Barkley the wonder dog

One other great thing since I’ve been back is that we were able to purchase a new Canon camera (thanks to some Christmas blessings!).  Our old Kodak camera has been slowly dying and refusing to work so it was time.  I don’t think the picture is any good on the new Kodak ones or the Nikon coolpix small cameras.  If you are in the market for one, I’ve done a bunch of research so ask away.  I really like the new camera and all the options on it.  I can even take black and white photos or accent certain colors in them.  Oooo- sorry I am a bit of a photography nut.  Here’s a picture of our doggie wishing you happy new year and inviting you to come down and play with him for a week!  🙂

Be blessed!

merry christmas!

Baggage Carousel at Philly Airport

We are enjoying a week off in snowy PA – 24 inches of snow in Philly when we arrived and treetops glistening here in Scranton.  It was quite an ordeal to make it to Tim’s mom’s house on Sunday – got in at 1:30 in the morning.  The picture is of the baggage carousel at the Philly airport at 11:45 Sunday night.  We are looking forward to a week of relaxing, naps, family, and fun.  We will be in Scranton until Christmas morning and then to the Philly area for the rest of the weekend….before heading back to Galveston on  Monday morning. 

Have a very blessed Christmas!  In your time with family, may you bring glory to God and help bring his kingdom to earth in 2010!

Rabbit tracks

Dad's Christmas tree

happy thanksgiving

To all our wonderful friends and family-

May you be blessed this Thanksgiving and be a blessing to others! 

Today, we are cooking Thanksgiving dinner for our friends and family and taking some plates to others.  We are looking forward to a day full of fun, good food, and ministry.  Can’t wait for Dana’s pecan pies and Mom’s turkey!  🙂

We feel so grateful for the many blessings God has given us in this past year.  It is hard to list them all- there have been so many!  Lately, we have been most grateful for a place to stay and new opportunities for ministry.  We are very blessed in the way God is using us in this community and are excited to see what else he has in store.  Praise God for his goodness!  We are very blessed to be able to serve as volunteers and build God’s kingdom here in Galveston.  We are blessed to have our eyes opened to some of the things God is doing in this world.  May God continue to use us to walk alongside others and lift them up.

Have a wonderful holiday!  Grace and peace to you!

Love,

Jenn and Tim

Was a Blanket and Sweatshirt Enough?

I took the dogs out for their final walk last night around 11:30 before we went to bed.  It was a quick little walk around the block.  As I was nearing the house, I passed a guy riding on a bike.  I said hi to him as I try to greet each person I see on these walks.  So, he stopped his bike and asked me if I lived around this area.  I told him I lived down the road.  As he got closer, I noticed that this was a fella that I had met a week and a half ago.  He had come by Primera church when I had a work team there, look for work or some food.  I had taken him down to the local Taco Bell and bought dinner for him.  At that time, he told me he had come to Galveston from Memphis on the prospects that there was work in Galveston.  However, in the months he had been there, he hadn’t been able to find any work.  He was so frustrated that he was just looking for a way to get back to Memphis.  He also told me that he had been spending the night sleeping in a tent city behind the McDonalds.

So, as he got closer, I told him that I recognized him.  He asked me if I had an extra blanket in the house that he could have (last night was one of the colder nights we have had in Galveston).  I told him I had one in the house, and I would get it for him.  He also asked if I had an extra jacket as well.  I told him I left all of my winter coats up north, but would see what I could do.  So, I took the dogs inside and found an extra blanket.  I was thinking about a jacket – I had one fleece and one windbreaker that I brought with me.  I have worn both of them regularly.  I looked in my closet and there were a couple of sweatshirts (I was wearing one as well).  So, I pulled the one that I was wearing off (it was actually my newest sweatshirt) and took it out to Jerry (homeless guy).

I also gave Jerry $5 to get some food.  So he went off with a blanket, a sweatshirt, and money for a meal.  I think that I took care of some of his immediate needs for the night.  I assured him that if I heard anything about jobs, I would let him know (he had given me his number). 

As he rode away into the cool of the night, an overwhelming guilt filled me.  We had some chili leftovers from dinner that I could have invited him in to eat.  We could have heated it up for him so that he had a good meal.  We have a guest bedroom with two beds in it that were not being used.  I had thought of inviting him in when he first asked, but was too scared to do anything.  What if he robbed us?  What if he would attack one of us?  If I invited him in, could I lock him in the bedroom for the night?  Should I invite him in and then just stay up all night so that he doesn’t do anything?  There was so much unknown and fear rising up that I didn’t invite him in. 

All day I have been questioning whether a blanket and sweatshirt were enough for Jerry.  I know that I was charitable, and I am not writing this to get patted on the back.  I wonder whether Jesus wants more from me.  Matthew 25 talks about what you do to the stranger and the hungry, you do unto him.  I have been praying for opportunities to push pastors of this community to think out of the box when responding to poverty in this area.  My goal is at some point just one pastor will encounter someone in poverty and invite them into their home, mentoring them and caring for them as they help the person take a step up.  Was this my opportunity to do that before I push other pastors to do the same?  How can I ask people down a road that I have not traveled?  I am wrestling with this….thought I would post it to see what your thoughts are….is there a better response in that situation than the fearful response that I had?

reflections on hope

Ike quilt exhibit and poetry reading

The psalmist writes: “Why so downcast O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 43)

There is a sea of emotions that threatens to overwhelm the soul with any tragedy in our lives.  These emotions churn within us, trying to overtake us many times throughout the day or week.  They spring upon us unexpectedly, trying to get the better of us, taking us downward and inward.  They tell us there is no hope.  They make us feel alone.  They are not bad in themselves, for they are simply our natural response.  Yet, sometimes, these emotions over time can turn us into creatures devoid of hope and joy in living. 

This week I have been struggling in this sea of emotions.  Sometimes I have allowed the emotions to drag me underneath the surface, more frequently than I would like to admit.  Sometimes they have sucked the joy and hope right out of me, making me feel empty.  I have empathized with the people who suffered great loss due to hurricane ike.  Something in their story and their suffering moves me to grief and makes me question where God is at in all of this.

Piano solo

All week has been dark, miserable, and rainy.  It has been depressing- depicting the grief and sorrow of the community during this past year.  At a poetry reading we went to on Friday night, there was beautiful, reflective yet sad music.  The music depicted our grief, our sorrow, our emotions fluctuating everywhere.  The Ike quilts hanging in the background also spoke to those emotions, telling the stories of the many women who made them.

Ike quilt- "I survived Hurricane Ike. The silver lining!"

 

Piano and cello duet from a mother and son 

Yet even in all of this- there are glimpses of hope and reminders to hold on and persevere.

The sun came out this morning!  For the first time in what seems like forever, it is bright and cheery outside.  What a way to commemorate the anniversary of hurricane ike.  Yet this glorious morning, the sun reminded all of us of the hope we have in God.  That no matter how bad things get, he is with us.  There is a light even in the darkness.  Even when we cannot see it, the light is still there.  How easy it is to lose hope that the light even exists when all we see around us is darkness. 

The Ike quilts also carried a message of hope, of survival, of community.  One of them said “We thank you Jesus!”  Others depicted many colors peeking out from the darkness. 

The sunrise service this morning, though indoors at Hotel Galvez, displayed the unity of the interfaith community.  All of us together worshipping the same great God.  Prayers from people of multiple faiths and denominations.  A message of hope.  A reminder that the apostle Paul experienced a hurricane for 14 days while at sea where everyone eventually survived.  A reminder that God has a plan for us for a future and a hope from the book of Jeremiah.  Beautiful uplifting music from a choir.

Sunrise begins

The sun rises even on the flooded beach

 

 

It is amazing to me how I saw God revealed this morning, that on the anniversary of hurricane ike, the sun is shining brightly.  What glorious and life-giving sunshine it is!  It has been a long time since we saw the sun.  Thank you God for the hope you bring, through your people, through your creation, through your word, through your presence, and through your love and grace most of all.  Just because the sun is out, doesn’t mean the dark times are gone forever.  We know we will still suffer in this life and experience breavement.  Even though we walk through many dark times, we have to hold on to the hope that you are faithful and with us and that your promises are true.  We want to trust… we are trying…we want to respond out of hope.  Please help us all to have faith in you, even in the darkest hour.

Caulk, Trim and Flooring

We were working in the parsonage again today – trying to finish up the trim in the house, doing a bit of caulking and also patching some of the holes in the floor before we put the laminate flooring down.  Just some quick thoughts from working today –

1. I took a short break this morning to drive over to Edgewater Retirement Community to help a couple get some donated plants for their house.  Our friend Jose from Primera made the connection for us.  They took 6-7 plants to replenish those that died during the hurricane.  I really enjoy Jose – he seems to have a really good heart and spirit.  In chatting with him, he offered to come help us work on the parsonage whenever we would need him.  However, I wish that I could really have a conversation with him – he is one of the people in the congregation that speaks more Spanish than English.  I really need to get working on my Spanish.
2. There were two water spouts that came ashore last night during heavy thunderstorms in Galveston (as they came onshore, they became tornadoes).  They landed about 35 blocks from where we live.  There was some property damage (one store on the seawall lost its roof) and three people had minor injuries.  However, it was a reminder to the islanders of the power of Mother Nature.  People are still holding their breath during hurricane season this year – wondering if another hurricane and destruction was headed their way… 
3. I enjoy working in the parsonage because there are so many things to do.  It lends to my short attention span.  Today I spent time working on one room and then the next, and then moving to caulking a little bit, and then fixing the floor a bit, and then back to trim.  I think it keeps my mind occupied as I switch from room to room.
4. We bought a counter top and a sink today for the kitchen.  Don’t know how to install either.  That is why God invented the internet.  www.google.com – “install counter top”.  www.doityourself.com – I think I am all set now. I have come to find that a lot of the work is learning and figuring it out as you go.  I enjoy that kind of stuff – it is challenging to my coconut.
5. Starting to think about sermons for Sunday – it is Labor Day – never has meant too much in the church calendar, except usually lower attendance.  I have a couple of ideas for sermons.  Sometime soon I want to talk about whether the church is a maintenance church or a missional church (using my friend Jeff Johnson’s work in his new book, Got Style? –check his book out on amazon.com) but am thinking of waiting until after Labor Day for that.  I could check out the lectionary (a group of readings predetermined for each Sunday).  Or talk about obstacles to living in the Kingdom of God – following up from last week’s sermon.  Don’t know – we will see which way the Lord leads.  I have a bunch of painting and mundane work to do this week where I can continue to noodle this out.
6. I had a profound thought about something mundane I was doing today – but I can’t remember what it was…sorry! 
7. I have a couple of fantasy football drafts coming up – exciting times – football season is closing in fast!  There are many days when I dream about when we are living in the parsonage and I have the big TV to watch football games…

Happy Tuesday to you – we will be touching up paint and Mrs. Salinas’ and also running some errands….

Dolphin World broken windows

Water spout tore off roof